themongooseandthesnake:

“yeah im a lesbian trapped inside a man’s body” the cishet male laughs as he highfives one of his dudebros. suddenly he gives off a look of pure terror and a piercing shriek as his skin is ripped apart, much to the horror of his crew. his skin falls to the floor and a woman is left standing where he once was. “FINALLY” she roars, kicking one of the dudebros in the dick before running into the sunset in search of some hella fine ladies.

jaimepreciadorable:

[AGGRESSIVELY TRIES TO SING LEAD VOCALS AND BACK UP VOCALS AT THE SAME TIME]

lilacid:

niggaqueef:

when you sat in a weird position for a long time and you move and then your foot feels like this

most accurate description of anything accurate ever in the history of accuracy

starllex:

kanyewesticle:

Sundays are one of the main reasons why I want a boyfriend because what does anyone even do on a Sunday like if I had a boyfriend I could do him

or OR YOU CAN GO TO CHURCH ON A SUNDAY AND GET THAT DIRTY MIND CLEANSED BY THE LORD 

canadumb:

thinsiqnificant:

canadumb:

*ducts tapes my laptop together*

*duct tapes my life together*

isnt that what i said